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Updated: Jan 23, 2018
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Mind Chatter (MC) . . . 'The Ultimate Story-Teller' !
I define Mind Chatter (MC) as my often incessant
'Internal Negative Self-Talk', and I have recognized it as 'The Single Most Destructive Force' in my Life !
I have noticed different levels of Mind Chatter (MC)
within myself.
Most often when I listen and become the observer of my minds MC conversation, I can clearly ‘hear’ the convincing arguments that it makes. If I continue to tune into it, I am able to observe not only my minds, but also my body's response to it. Unless I consciously interrupt this process, I can clearly see and feel the increasing escalation of the stress response within me.
The above type of MC is the most obvious and most common form that I notice in me. The most subtle form can only be ‘felt’. Thus there is a whole spectrum of MC in between.
I think one particular level is usually predominant within each of us, and this predominant level can change over time as we do our inner work. Often we may even move around in between these levels, especially as we are learning and practicing new skills. Mind Chatter is very personal to everyone of us, depending on our personal dispositions and life experiences. Every one of us may require a different approach, depending on where we are on our path. We all must determine our own approach that feels right and works for us.
'Internal Negative Self-Talk', and I have recognized it as 'The Single Most Destructive Force' in my Life !
I have noticed different levels of Mind Chatter (MC)
within myself.
Most often when I listen and become the observer of my minds MC conversation, I can clearly ‘hear’ the convincing arguments that it makes. If I continue to tune into it, I am able to observe not only my minds, but also my body's response to it. Unless I consciously interrupt this process, I can clearly see and feel the increasing escalation of the stress response within me.
The above type of MC is the most obvious and most common form that I notice in me. The most subtle form can only be ‘felt’. Thus there is a whole spectrum of MC in between.
I think one particular level is usually predominant within each of us, and this predominant level can change over time as we do our inner work. Often we may even move around in between these levels, especially as we are learning and practicing new skills. Mind Chatter is very personal to everyone of us, depending on our personal dispositions and life experiences. Every one of us may require a different approach, depending on where we are on our path. We all must determine our own approach that feels right and works for us.
The subject of this page is the ever present, yet often unobserved and unquestioned Inner Voice that is consistently Critical of me and often assumes Mal-Intent in others. It is the one who makes me feel bad about myself and gets me irritated (or worse) with others . . . often for no 'valid' reason.
It is the one who often talks to me Incessantly . . . telling me negative Stories that lead me to draw Conclusions which I believe to be the Truth. I will even Respond by reacting as though they 'ARE' the Truth . . . but they are most often NOT, and they tend to lead me astray in my perception of reality ! It is therefore, the most common cause of my feelings of Stress and Pain, and thus my Suffering. Consequently . . . I have recognized this Mind Chatter as 'The Single Most Destructive Force' in my Life !
The sad thing about what I am saying here is that it took me incredibly long to see the validity of what I am saying here . . . and I know that many of you who may be reading this may not see it either. You see, this is the power of our Mind Chatter. It successfully argues that our reasons for feeling bad about ourselves or our reasons for getting irritated at others 'are valid' and 'just'.
It is the one who often talks to me Incessantly . . . telling me negative Stories that lead me to draw Conclusions which I believe to be the Truth. I will even Respond by reacting as though they 'ARE' the Truth . . . but they are most often NOT, and they tend to lead me astray in my perception of reality ! It is therefore, the most common cause of my feelings of Stress and Pain, and thus my Suffering. Consequently . . . I have recognized this Mind Chatter as 'The Single Most Destructive Force' in my Life !
The sad thing about what I am saying here is that it took me incredibly long to see the validity of what I am saying here . . . and I know that many of you who may be reading this may not see it either. You see, this is the power of our Mind Chatter. It successfully argues that our reasons for feeling bad about ourselves or our reasons for getting irritated at others 'are valid' and 'just'.
How to recognize MC
It is the little voice that de-rails my Intentions . . . instead of Supporting them !
It always tells me what’s Wrong . . . rather than what’s Right . . .
It readily points out how the world and people are Against us . . . not For us . . .
What’s not Working . . . instead of what’s Working !
It Always paints a Worst Case Scenario . . . not a Best Case Scenario . . . and
It is quick to point out all the Reasons why it won’t work or . . .
Why it won’t happen . . . even how I’m not good enough . . . or why I’m not worthy !
It is incessantly Writing, Telling, Adding to, and Repeating these types of unpleasant and mostly untrue Stories . . . but we can learn to ‘see what it is doing’ !
What can I do?
I am Learning to become Aware its Presence !
I am Learning to Observe and Witness it !
I am Learning to 'Hear' what it is saying, but I STOP responding to it in the same way than what I have in the past . . .
I STOP myself from feeding the negativity . . . !
I am choosing a different path !
It always tells me what’s Wrong . . . rather than what’s Right . . .
It readily points out how the world and people are Against us . . . not For us . . .
What’s not Working . . . instead of what’s Working !
It Always paints a Worst Case Scenario . . . not a Best Case Scenario . . . and
It is quick to point out all the Reasons why it won’t work or . . .
Why it won’t happen . . . even how I’m not good enough . . . or why I’m not worthy !
It is incessantly Writing, Telling, Adding to, and Repeating these types of unpleasant and mostly untrue Stories . . . but we can learn to ‘see what it is doing’ !
What can I do?
I am Learning to become Aware its Presence !
I am Learning to Observe and Witness it !
I am Learning to 'Hear' what it is saying, but I STOP responding to it in the same way than what I have in the past . . .
I STOP myself from feeding the negativity . . . !
I am choosing a different path !
To do this,
It helps me to see that 'I am NOT my Mind' . . .
I have a Mind (to use) . . . but I Am Not 'It' !
I can decide to take Charge of my Mind and gently reprogram it.
I can learn to Observe the Mind and Witness what it is saying . . .
but not react to it . . . not buy into the emotion of it.
I think at times it helps to Speak to the Mind . . . not from the Mind !
It is my task to Teach it, give it Instructions, and Re-direct it to tell me better and true Stories.
It helps me to see that 'I am NOT my Mind' . . .
I have a Mind (to use) . . . but I Am Not 'It' !
I can decide to take Charge of my Mind and gently reprogram it.
I can learn to Observe the Mind and Witness what it is saying . . .
but not react to it . . . not buy into the emotion of it.
I think at times it helps to Speak to the Mind . . . not from the Mind !
It is my task to Teach it, give it Instructions, and Re-direct it to tell me better and true Stories.
How am I able to differentiate between a Story of my mind and the factual Truth ?
I ask myself regularly: Is this true . . . or am I telling a story ?
What is the ’verifiable’ Evidence???? What are the ’verifiable’ Facts?
A word of Caution: I must be careful when I look at 'verifiable facts', because the mind is very clever in disguising a 'Belief' or a 'Perception' that I hold and present it to me as though it is an actual fact.
If it is a story . . . I can intentionally and deliberately take away its Energy, its Power . . . by Removing my Attention from the Story and giving my Attention to something else . . . I can pivot by turning my attention to look for something more pleasant, such as positive aspects !
Visit my Pivot Page for more details on how to pivot.
I can . . . I intent to . . . I will . . . I am . . . intentionally Practice(ing) this Every Day as I go through my day . . . as I catch my mind telling its Stories !
I Choose to Make it So !
I ask myself regularly: Is this true . . . or am I telling a story ?
What is the ’verifiable’ Evidence???? What are the ’verifiable’ Facts?
A word of Caution: I must be careful when I look at 'verifiable facts', because the mind is very clever in disguising a 'Belief' or a 'Perception' that I hold and present it to me as though it is an actual fact.
If it is a story . . . I can intentionally and deliberately take away its Energy, its Power . . . by Removing my Attention from the Story and giving my Attention to something else . . . I can pivot by turning my attention to look for something more pleasant, such as positive aspects !
Visit my Pivot Page for more details on how to pivot.
I can . . . I intent to . . . I will . . . I am . . . intentionally Practice(ing) this Every Day as I go through my day . . . as I catch my mind telling its Stories !
I Choose to Make it So !
When it comes to other people, MC is the first one to assume Mal-Intent. It likes to blame or look for fault in others . . . and it likes to point it out . . . whether it is true or not.
I can avoid myself a lot of pain when I am aware of this tendency and I proceed with caution whenever I hear myself say: He . . . She . . . or They . . . in a critical way.
When this happens, chances are a 'Story' is about to be told. Don't take the bait . . .
'You See What You Look For' . . . and we can Choose to look for something different !
I can avoid myself a lot of pain when I am aware of this tendency and I proceed with caution whenever I hear myself say: He . . . She . . . or They . . . in a critical way.
When this happens, chances are a 'Story' is about to be told. Don't take the bait . . .
'You See What You Look For' . . . and we can Choose to look for something different !
One of the most common and most harmful default mental habits that we have is to stay focused on the problem even after we have identified it . . . which just magnifies it.
When I am giving my full attention to a problem . . . most often it turns out to be just Mind Chatter, and the problem actually magnifies . . . but when I give my full attention to the solution, I am pivoting (shifting) away from MC into a beneficial direction.
The solution may be internal or external . . . it may be action or in-action . . . it may only be a solution for this moment . . . it may be as simple as Accepting and Allowing 'What Is'.
We must learn to Remove our Attention from the problem and focus on the Solution . . . because it is the pathway to beneficial change !
When I am giving my full attention to a problem . . . most often it turns out to be just Mind Chatter, and the problem actually magnifies . . . but when I give my full attention to the solution, I am pivoting (shifting) away from MC into a beneficial direction.
The solution may be internal or external . . . it may be action or in-action . . . it may only be a solution for this moment . . . it may be as simple as Accepting and Allowing 'What Is'.
We must learn to Remove our Attention from the problem and focus on the Solution . . . because it is the pathway to beneficial change !
Do I see a field of weeds or a field of flowers ? It depends on my perception . . . it depends on what I'm looking for.
If I am looking for weeds I will see them . . . if I am looking for flowers . . . I will see them.
When it comes to my life . . . MC want me to see weeds.
It looks for them diligently and it will point them all out to me
. . . even when they're flowers.
Relating this to the red flag example above:
Do I want to see and assume Good-Intent or Mal-Intent ?
It is my choice . . . and it is best not to Allow my MC to make this choice for me.
If I am looking for weeds I will see them . . . if I am looking for flowers . . . I will see them.
When it comes to my life . . . MC want me to see weeds.
It looks for them diligently and it will point them all out to me
. . . even when they're flowers.
Relating this to the red flag example above:
Do I want to see and assume Good-Intent or Mal-Intent ?
It is my choice . . . and it is best not to Allow my MC to make this choice for me.
A word of Caution:
Whenever you are shifting your perception to a new way of thinking, such as: I AM ABUNDANT ! I am Abundant in so many ways . . . resist your minds response of . . . ' yeah, but . . .' !
It is a Mind Chatter trap that will derail you every time
and you'll find yourself right back in your old auto pilot mental habit of scarcity and lack.
The good thing is:
There are no limits on how often you can do it over . . . so keep going !
Whenever you are shifting your perception to a new way of thinking, such as: I AM ABUNDANT ! I am Abundant in so many ways . . . resist your minds response of . . . ' yeah, but . . .' !
It is a Mind Chatter trap that will derail you every time
and you'll find yourself right back in your old auto pilot mental habit of scarcity and lack.
The good thing is:
There are no limits on how often you can do it over . . . so keep going !
Worrying is using my powerful Imagination to create what I don't want and fear. It is a Lower Frequency Vibration that is created by our Mind Chatter. It is never beneficial because it is ALWAYS focused on worst case scenario outcomes . . . never on favorable possibilities.
I have the power and the ability to become aware of and stop myself when I worry too much. I can deliberately choose to shift my path by using the power of my Imagination for what I 'do' want . . . for Positive Goal Setting . . . for what I do want to see happen in my life.
I have the power and the ability to become aware of and stop myself when I worry too much. I can deliberately choose to shift my path by using the power of my Imagination for what I 'do' want . . . for Positive Goal Setting . . . for what I do want to see happen in my life.
Tools and Techniques for Working with my Mind Chatter
How can I work with my Mind Chatter ?
I can get to know it better . . . become Aware of it . . . recognize it when it is active . . . when it is chattering. I will know that it is chattering when I ‘hear’ the Internal Voice of Negativity.
I can now become the Observer . . . the Witness of it.
I can train myself to ‘Hear’ what it is saying, but I don’t Listen to what it is saying . . . I stop myself from buying into the emotion of it . . . from identifying with it ! I know that I’ve heard this ‘Story’ many times before, and I know it’s not True . . . I am no longer falling for it . . . I am choosing something different . . . something better !
I can learn to Pivot, where I train myself ‘not to Respond’ . . . not to react to it in the same way I always have in the past. Instead . . . I train myself to Pause and Shift my Attention away from it !
When I give it no attention it takes away its negative Energy . . . its Power over me.
Once I’ve taken back my Power . . . I can begin to Retrain and Reprogram my mind to tell a more and more positive story. Visit my Pivot Page for more details on pivoting.
I can get to know it better . . . become Aware of it . . . recognize it when it is active . . . when it is chattering. I will know that it is chattering when I ‘hear’ the Internal Voice of Negativity.
I can now become the Observer . . . the Witness of it.
I can train myself to ‘Hear’ what it is saying, but I don’t Listen to what it is saying . . . I stop myself from buying into the emotion of it . . . from identifying with it ! I know that I’ve heard this ‘Story’ many times before, and I know it’s not True . . . I am no longer falling for it . . . I am choosing something different . . . something better !
I can learn to Pivot, where I train myself ‘not to Respond’ . . . not to react to it in the same way I always have in the past. Instead . . . I train myself to Pause and Shift my Attention away from it !
When I give it no attention it takes away its negative Energy . . . its Power over me.
Once I’ve taken back my Power . . . I can begin to Retrain and Reprogram my mind to tell a more and more positive story. Visit my Pivot Page for more details on pivoting.
How can I retrain and reprogram my mind to tell a better Story ?
When it is telling its untrue, unpleasant story I can Talk to it.
I can teach it . . . I can give it a job, by giving it Instructions and Directions of what I want it to do or say to me . . . and what I do want it to tell me is 'something good' that is also true !
I can send it on a treasure hunt for this truth . . . ‘look for and discover something good about this, that is the truth’, and bring it back to me . . .
Or . . . 'lets sit down and find this truth together' ! We could write down and make a list.
Or . . . I can learn to say: ‘We both know that this is not true, lets discover something good about this that is true and then we can remember it in the future.
Or . . . ‘Not Now’ ! I’m busy feeling good . . . talk to me about something that feels good and then I’ll give you my full attention !
Visit my Pivot Page for more ideas of how to teach and reprogram MC by pivoting.
When it is telling its untrue, unpleasant story I can Talk to it.
I can teach it . . . I can give it a job, by giving it Instructions and Directions of what I want it to do or say to me . . . and what I do want it to tell me is 'something good' that is also true !
I can send it on a treasure hunt for this truth . . . ‘look for and discover something good about this, that is the truth’, and bring it back to me . . .
Or . . . 'lets sit down and find this truth together' ! We could write down and make a list.
Or . . . I can learn to say: ‘We both know that this is not true, lets discover something good about this that is true and then we can remember it in the future.
Or . . . ‘Not Now’ ! I’m busy feeling good . . . talk to me about something that feels good and then I’ll give you my full attention !
Visit my Pivot Page for more ideas of how to teach and reprogram MC by pivoting.
MC likes to focus in on any 'problem' so that it can magnify it by adding to it . . . i.e. telling me an untrue story.
I notice that when I am repeatedly giving my full attention to a problem . . . in addition to the established facts, it mostly just turns out to be my MC . . . but when I give my full attention to the solution my MC is either tying to be a part of the solution or it is quiet.
Talking to my Mind and giving it a job . . . when I was unable to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and I noticed my mind chattering. I knew that it would keep me awake if it continued . . . so I decided to have a calm and gentle ‘conversation’ with it, which went something like this:
I don’t want to be awake.
I want to go to sleep . . . so I can get the rest that I need.
Thank you for doing what you’ve been trained to do . . . even at night!
But now it is time for us to rest and be quiet.
I would like you to be quiet, and go to sleep . . .
and then we can pick this up in the morning.
It was quiet for a while . . . and then I noticed a subtle chatter keeping me awake.
I calmly and gently repeated something like:
It is time to be Quiet now. . . it is time to rest and sleep . . .
we can pick this up in the morning.
Go to sleep . . .
Not Now . . .
Tomorrow . . .
Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
Go to sleep . . .
Be Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
I repeated pieces of this process whenever I noticed the chatter. I just kept repeating this gently and calmly until I drifted off to sleep, which happened within a reasonable amount of time. Then I woke up again a couple of hours later . . . with the same soft voice chattering in my mind, about the same thing.
I calmly and gently repeated:
Quiet . . . it is sleep and rest time . . .
Go to sleep . . .
Be Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
That is the last thing I remember until I woke up in the morning.
I have been using this technique ever since that first night I discovered it. When I change, delete, or add a few words, it also works great for me during some of my Meditations, when my mind wants to be active rather than quiet.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and I noticed my mind chattering. I knew that it would keep me awake if it continued . . . so I decided to have a calm and gentle ‘conversation’ with it, which went something like this:
I don’t want to be awake.
I want to go to sleep . . . so I can get the rest that I need.
Thank you for doing what you’ve been trained to do . . . even at night!
But now it is time for us to rest and be quiet.
I would like you to be quiet, and go to sleep . . .
and then we can pick this up in the morning.
It was quiet for a while . . . and then I noticed a subtle chatter keeping me awake.
I calmly and gently repeated something like:
It is time to be Quiet now. . . it is time to rest and sleep . . .
we can pick this up in the morning.
Go to sleep . . .
Not Now . . .
Tomorrow . . .
Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
Go to sleep . . .
Be Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
I repeated pieces of this process whenever I noticed the chatter. I just kept repeating this gently and calmly until I drifted off to sleep, which happened within a reasonable amount of time. Then I woke up again a couple of hours later . . . with the same soft voice chattering in my mind, about the same thing.
I calmly and gently repeated:
Quiet . . . it is sleep and rest time . . .
Go to sleep . . .
Be Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
Quiet . . .
That is the last thing I remember until I woke up in the morning.
I have been using this technique ever since that first night I discovered it. When I change, delete, or add a few words, it also works great for me during some of my Meditations, when my mind wants to be active rather than quiet.
There are cases when our Mind Chatter uses language that is quite unkind, demeaning, insulting, and/or belittling . . . in other words, quite Disrespectful. Whether this type of language is directed at us or at someone else . . . when MC is talking in this unhealthy way and we are ready to change that, especially with repeating situations, it may be worth trying these techniques:
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When our Mind Chatter uses Disrespectful, language as described above . . . try looking at the MC as an misguided, but innocent child . . . an Inner Child.
- that is doing the best it can with what it has learned.
- that talks this way because it has been allowed to talk that way.
Develop a relationship with it.
- Give it permission to exist . . . to be what it is. (Don’t try to eliminate or get rid of it, clear any judgments and beliefs that 'it is wrong’)
- Appreciate it when it is contributing in a positive way.
- Teach it to be kinder when it is not . . . not by wanting to change it . . . but by changing ourselves and how we respond and react to it . . . by making different choices.
Teach it to be kinder
- by patiently, gently, and calmly redirecting it when it uses unkind language . . . just like we would with a child.
- by telling it, modeling to it, and reinforcing the language we want it to use.
We could say things such as:
- We no longer use this word . . . it is disrespectful (unkind, demeaning, insulting, or belittling) and we now choose to discard this word from our vocabulary.
- We no longer use that word . . . how can we say this differently that is also kind ? Think of new ways of saying it and repeat it out loud until you get it where it feels right . . .
- We could write it down in a note book, if it helps us remember.
- We can tell our MC: Yes . . . this, or something better, is how we will say this from now on . . . let’s remember this the next time.
Dis-Engage when it acts up:
Send it Love.
Don't judge it.
Don’t fight or resist it . . . it will only fight back. 'What you resist persists'.
Don’t argue with it or try to prove it wrong . . . it will suck you in.
Don’t identify with it . . . don’t buy into the emotions (empathize) of it !
Send it Love.
Don't judge it.
Don’t fight or resist it . . . it will only fight back. 'What you resist persists'.
Don’t argue with it or try to prove it wrong . . . it will suck you in.
Don’t identify with it . . . don’t buy into the emotions (empathize) of it !
- Instead . . . try to feel love for it, allow it to be, and accept it for what it is . . . in this moment.
- Feel compassion for it, if you can.
- Allow it to see things its way while ‘I am choosing to look at it differently’ . . . I am choosing to . . .
When we start to Dis-Engage with our MC it helps to start to work with one situation at a time . . . one that happens repeatedly:
It could look something like this:
When my MC talks disrespectfully –
I Remove my focus (my attention) from the MC and I shift my focus to how I want things to be
. . . in other words, I think about and focus on:
How do I want to hear myself talking to myself . . .
What do I want to hear myself say to myself . . .
I Hear, I See, and I talk to myself (I model to myself) how I want to see myself treat me !
. . . and I replace my MC talk with 'That' as it is happening.
In the future . . . I am then committed to replace it with 'That model' when I hear my MC talk.
I can write this down, if that helps, and use it to train myself with it. I do this and repeat it as many times as is needed with each situation until it is done !
It could look something like this:
When my MC talks disrespectfully –
I Remove my focus (my attention) from the MC and I shift my focus to how I want things to be
. . . in other words, I think about and focus on:
How do I want to hear myself talking to myself . . .
What do I want to hear myself say to myself . . .
I Hear, I See, and I talk to myself (I model to myself) how I want to see myself treat me !
. . . and I replace my MC talk with 'That' as it is happening.
In the future . . . I am then committed to replace it with 'That model' when I hear my MC talk.
I can write this down, if that helps, and use it to train myself with it. I do this and repeat it as many times as is needed with each situation until it is done !
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