FEAR Updated: April 14, 2022
Fear – it will eat me alive if I allow it to run free. It will show its effects not only in how I feel and what I do today; but it has much more far-reaching and often unrecognized effects on my health and wellbeing, far into the future.
I make it my task to recognize it and see it fully in all its truths as well as in all its lies; so that I can distinguish between what deserves my attention and focus, and what would be beneficial to let go.
Fear is fear, and there is no right or wrong for feeling it. It is a part of my innate humanness, and there is always a reason of why I feel it; albeit not a very ‘accurate’ reason as perceived by my mind in the moment. So, it is my task to sort it out before it leads me too far astray.
Fear may be triggered by anything. Sometimes I am aware of the trigger, such as a memory of a past experience or my minds projection into some worst case, ‘possible’ future outcome. At other times, I may have no idea where it comes from. It just is !
No matter what the apparent origin of it, fear is fear; and I have learned that the best way for me to work towards neutralizing its adverse impact on my well-being, is to:
1) Realize that, it is best for me to allow myself to ‘move through’ it, while also allowing it to ‘move through me’; vs seeing it as something that I have to 'get over’, or try to avoid !
Such movement is a process of accepting and allowing the ‘flow’ of it, vs resisting or denying it. I have learned, that it is in my best interest to intentionally choose to do my best to allow and facilitate this process to take place; with as little judgment or resistance as is possible for me. This is my inner work ! If I learn to do it well, the fear will flow and dissipate vs being blocked. When the fear does not get blocked from exiting, it is much less like that it will get an opportunity to get stuck in my emotional or physical body, where it could stay lodged; causing damage to my physical, mental, and/or emotional health and well-being. The more I practice this process, the quicker and more easily I move through it.
2) Not only do I think my way through it – but I also feel my way through it !!!
Fear is an emotion. This emotion is usually a result of, and an immediate reaction to, some stimuli. This reaction can either be physical and/or emotional, and it generally prompts me into an immediate fight, flight, or freeze mode. I must adequately process this reactive emotion by both my mind and my heart, if I want to transform it into the best and most beneficial outcome possible. Processing it through the filter of only one of those two will most likely get me a less satisfying result.
3) I can facilitate successful processing, by having a ‘relationship’ with my fear. This is also true for many other emotions that I feel; wanted or unwanted, pleasant or unpleasant !
Emotions are a part of my humanness ! They are a living, breathing energy field; that is an integral part of my existence as a Human Being. When I can see and ‘feel’ my emotions in this way, I can see it and I can ‘feel’ it as an entity of its own. This entity has its own personality, its own traits, and its own ‘vibration’ when I tune into it. It can be my friend, my enemy; or anything in between ! It’s really my choice, and I get to choose how I approach it, how I treat it, and how I relate to it. For me, the main part of building a ‘relationship’ with it means; I acknowledge it and I allow it to exist vs running away from it or trying to block it.
4) Feelings and emotions are terms that are usually used interchangeably. Even though they are very closely related, there is one notable distinction between them, that is worth noting.
While emotions are an automatic reaction to stimuli that cause an immediate physical and or emotional reaction; feelings are, what can be described as, the result after I process my initial emotion through the filters of my heart and my mind.
Working through the initial reactive emotions and ending up with more constructive feelings is an internal process for everyone. It can be a conscious process, or an auto pilot process, depending on the person and their skill set. I am frequently using a process called RAAINS, to help me move through fearful as well as through other physical or emotionally reactive situations more easily. My intent is always, to end up with a better feeling and outcome, vs if I allow it to take me over and run rampant with the imagination and exaggeration of my mind.
I make it my task to recognize it and see it fully in all its truths as well as in all its lies; so that I can distinguish between what deserves my attention and focus, and what would be beneficial to let go.
Fear is fear, and there is no right or wrong for feeling it. It is a part of my innate humanness, and there is always a reason of why I feel it; albeit not a very ‘accurate’ reason as perceived by my mind in the moment. So, it is my task to sort it out before it leads me too far astray.
Fear may be triggered by anything. Sometimes I am aware of the trigger, such as a memory of a past experience or my minds projection into some worst case, ‘possible’ future outcome. At other times, I may have no idea where it comes from. It just is !
No matter what the apparent origin of it, fear is fear; and I have learned that the best way for me to work towards neutralizing its adverse impact on my well-being, is to:
1) Realize that, it is best for me to allow myself to ‘move through’ it, while also allowing it to ‘move through me’; vs seeing it as something that I have to 'get over’, or try to avoid !
Such movement is a process of accepting and allowing the ‘flow’ of it, vs resisting or denying it. I have learned, that it is in my best interest to intentionally choose to do my best to allow and facilitate this process to take place; with as little judgment or resistance as is possible for me. This is my inner work ! If I learn to do it well, the fear will flow and dissipate vs being blocked. When the fear does not get blocked from exiting, it is much less like that it will get an opportunity to get stuck in my emotional or physical body, where it could stay lodged; causing damage to my physical, mental, and/or emotional health and well-being. The more I practice this process, the quicker and more easily I move through it.
2) Not only do I think my way through it – but I also feel my way through it !!!
Fear is an emotion. This emotion is usually a result of, and an immediate reaction to, some stimuli. This reaction can either be physical and/or emotional, and it generally prompts me into an immediate fight, flight, or freeze mode. I must adequately process this reactive emotion by both my mind and my heart, if I want to transform it into the best and most beneficial outcome possible. Processing it through the filter of only one of those two will most likely get me a less satisfying result.
3) I can facilitate successful processing, by having a ‘relationship’ with my fear. This is also true for many other emotions that I feel; wanted or unwanted, pleasant or unpleasant !
Emotions are a part of my humanness ! They are a living, breathing energy field; that is an integral part of my existence as a Human Being. When I can see and ‘feel’ my emotions in this way, I can see it and I can ‘feel’ it as an entity of its own. This entity has its own personality, its own traits, and its own ‘vibration’ when I tune into it. It can be my friend, my enemy; or anything in between ! It’s really my choice, and I get to choose how I approach it, how I treat it, and how I relate to it. For me, the main part of building a ‘relationship’ with it means; I acknowledge it and I allow it to exist vs running away from it or trying to block it.
4) Feelings and emotions are terms that are usually used interchangeably. Even though they are very closely related, there is one notable distinction between them, that is worth noting.
While emotions are an automatic reaction to stimuli that cause an immediate physical and or emotional reaction; feelings are, what can be described as, the result after I process my initial emotion through the filters of my heart and my mind.
Working through the initial reactive emotions and ending up with more constructive feelings is an internal process for everyone. It can be a conscious process, or an auto pilot process, depending on the person and their skill set. I am frequently using a process called RAAINS, to help me move through fearful as well as through other physical or emotionally reactive situations more easily. My intent is always, to end up with a better feeling and outcome, vs if I allow it to take me over and run rampant with the imagination and exaggeration of my mind.
RAAINS is the acronym for Recognize, Acknowledge, Allow, Investigate, Nurture, and Shift
Moving through this process helps me stay calmer when I feel really stressed or I just want to lash out. It redirects me to both, logical thinking and heart-based feeling my way, through whatever I’m experiencing. Practicing RAAINS, can help me prevent Fear, or any other destructive emotion, from growing and becoming my guiding energy.
During a stressful situation, just focusing on remembering and applying RAAINS is a SHIFT in itself ! It immediately shifts me from being intensely focused on my emotional reaction to trying to remember the acronym and how to apply it in this situation. It is usually not a 100% shift by all means, or my work would be done (lol); but it is always a good start for me.
Again, it bears repeating that this process can be applied to many different feelings and situations. I also find it very useful when I feel pain or discomfort in my body.
This is an evolving practice for me, and it is a constant work in progress. It requires a lot of repetition and a great deal of commitment towards mastery on my part. Depending on the intensity and the difficulty of the situation; the more I practice, the faster and more effectively I can move through the process. During more difficult situations it may require more in-depth work; where I have to review and focus on the details of the different parts within the acronym. Other times it may be less challenging, and I can move through a to resolution fairly quickly, applying just the basics of the acronym within seconds and arriving at a positive end result of ‘The Shift’.
Moving through this process helps me stay calmer when I feel really stressed or I just want to lash out. It redirects me to both, logical thinking and heart-based feeling my way, through whatever I’m experiencing. Practicing RAAINS, can help me prevent Fear, or any other destructive emotion, from growing and becoming my guiding energy.
During a stressful situation, just focusing on remembering and applying RAAINS is a SHIFT in itself ! It immediately shifts me from being intensely focused on my emotional reaction to trying to remember the acronym and how to apply it in this situation. It is usually not a 100% shift by all means, or my work would be done (lol); but it is always a good start for me.
Again, it bears repeating that this process can be applied to many different feelings and situations. I also find it very useful when I feel pain or discomfort in my body.
This is an evolving practice for me, and it is a constant work in progress. It requires a lot of repetition and a great deal of commitment towards mastery on my part. Depending on the intensity and the difficulty of the situation; the more I practice, the faster and more effectively I can move through the process. During more difficult situations it may require more in-depth work; where I have to review and focus on the details of the different parts within the acronym. Other times it may be less challenging, and I can move through a to resolution fairly quickly, applying just the basics of the acronym within seconds and arriving at a positive end result of ‘The Shift’.
The process of RAAINS
Recognize it – I am having an emotional reaction, Identify the Emotion, Don't run from it - Face it ! It has something to teach me. It is a challenge and a prompt for me to expand - to ‘Step into it !’
Acknowledge it – Acknowledge its existence. Have a 'Relationship' with it. ‘Feel into it’. Witness it. Observe it. Talk to it: I see you, I know you, I recognize you, I know who you are and why you are here (or not) ! You are a signal. You are an invitation to change. I am open. I am willing. I am available.
Allow it . . . Allow ‘what is’ but be mindful not to feed it ! Allow it to exist – Accept it. Make Peace with it. Validate it. Think less - Feel more ! Notice: Where in my body is the feeling located? Focus on it. Put my hand on it. Allow myself to feel it, to sit with it (for a while). Feel into it. Lean into it. Relax into it. Relax affected body parts. Embrace it and Love it (vibrationally). Practice acceptance of myself, others, and ‘what is.
Investigate / Analyze
Is there immediate danger, if ‘yes’, act ! Or, is it a Fear of something I ‘believe’ or something that ‘could’ happen?
What is the Source / Reason for the emotion? Do I know?
Investigate / discover the source / reason - Past experience? Fear of repeating? Future projection? Fear of happening down the line? No apparent reason? News/Media/People/History/Politics? Mind Chatter?
How important is this (really)?
What am I ‘really’ afraid of?
Why am I afraid of this?
Is this fear real, magnified, or imagined ?
What would need to happen for this fear to dissipate?
What could I do to help it dissipate ?
What do I need to do to make this happen?
What am I willing to do to make this happen?
What is within in my circle of influence/control?
What is not?
Facts vs Story?
What is really true about my fear / what are the verifiable facts?
What do I really want, that the fear is telling me, is in jeopardy?
What is a definite story / not true?
What is a (possible) story?
What are the probabilities of my fears becoming reality?
What are the probabilities of my fears not becoming reality?
Distinguish between what deserves more of my attention, and what is out of my control and/or would be best to let go of ! Blessing it and all people associated with it may help me let go.
What can I think, feel, or do / stop thinking, or stop doing (self-correct) that will help?
Look for and find ways to change what I can in a beneficial way.
Formulate a constructive, possible plan.
How can I maximize the probabilities in my favor?
Follow through/make adjustments to my plan as facts change.
Make choice(s)/decision(s) and be committed to doing it/not doing it.
Nurture (Soothe)
Go easy on myself, others, and the world (be kind vs insisting on being right, even when I am).
Practice empathy, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness not only for others, but for myself.
Practice humor, learn to laugh at myself.
Shift (Pivot) - Make a conscious choice to shift my focus and attention towards something that feels better (Pivot).
Once I accept and I allow ‘what is’ that is out of my control, I can then practice ‘letting go’ of what is out of my control.
Deliberately look for something to think, feel, or do; that helps me move in the direction of feeling better than where I am.
This could be related to subject causing the emotion, or not.
Again, Blessing it and all people associated with it may help me to shift.
Examples:
The fastest and simplest way to shift is to 'Find Something to be Grateful for and/or Appreciate ! ! !’
Think about or do something that bring me joy (things on my 'What Makes My Heart Sing' List).
Use Affirmations / Meditations / Prayers. Bless it !!!!
Recognize it – I am having an emotional reaction, Identify the Emotion, Don't run from it - Face it ! It has something to teach me. It is a challenge and a prompt for me to expand - to ‘Step into it !’
Acknowledge it – Acknowledge its existence. Have a 'Relationship' with it. ‘Feel into it’. Witness it. Observe it. Talk to it: I see you, I know you, I recognize you, I know who you are and why you are here (or not) ! You are a signal. You are an invitation to change. I am open. I am willing. I am available.
Allow it . . . Allow ‘what is’ but be mindful not to feed it ! Allow it to exist – Accept it. Make Peace with it. Validate it. Think less - Feel more ! Notice: Where in my body is the feeling located? Focus on it. Put my hand on it. Allow myself to feel it, to sit with it (for a while). Feel into it. Lean into it. Relax into it. Relax affected body parts. Embrace it and Love it (vibrationally). Practice acceptance of myself, others, and ‘what is.
Investigate / Analyze
Is there immediate danger, if ‘yes’, act ! Or, is it a Fear of something I ‘believe’ or something that ‘could’ happen?
What is the Source / Reason for the emotion? Do I know?
Investigate / discover the source / reason - Past experience? Fear of repeating? Future projection? Fear of happening down the line? No apparent reason? News/Media/People/History/Politics? Mind Chatter?
How important is this (really)?
What am I ‘really’ afraid of?
Why am I afraid of this?
Is this fear real, magnified, or imagined ?
What would need to happen for this fear to dissipate?
What could I do to help it dissipate ?
What do I need to do to make this happen?
What am I willing to do to make this happen?
What is within in my circle of influence/control?
What is not?
Facts vs Story?
What is really true about my fear / what are the verifiable facts?
What do I really want, that the fear is telling me, is in jeopardy?
What is a definite story / not true?
What is a (possible) story?
What are the probabilities of my fears becoming reality?
What are the probabilities of my fears not becoming reality?
Distinguish between what deserves more of my attention, and what is out of my control and/or would be best to let go of ! Blessing it and all people associated with it may help me let go.
What can I think, feel, or do / stop thinking, or stop doing (self-correct) that will help?
Look for and find ways to change what I can in a beneficial way.
Formulate a constructive, possible plan.
How can I maximize the probabilities in my favor?
Follow through/make adjustments to my plan as facts change.
Make choice(s)/decision(s) and be committed to doing it/not doing it.
Nurture (Soothe)
Go easy on myself, others, and the world (be kind vs insisting on being right, even when I am).
Practice empathy, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness not only for others, but for myself.
Practice humor, learn to laugh at myself.
Shift (Pivot) - Make a conscious choice to shift my focus and attention towards something that feels better (Pivot).
Once I accept and I allow ‘what is’ that is out of my control, I can then practice ‘letting go’ of what is out of my control.
Deliberately look for something to think, feel, or do; that helps me move in the direction of feeling better than where I am.
This could be related to subject causing the emotion, or not.
Again, Blessing it and all people associated with it may help me to shift.
Examples:
The fastest and simplest way to shift is to 'Find Something to be Grateful for and/or Appreciate ! ! !’
Think about or do something that bring me joy (things on my 'What Makes My Heart Sing' List).
Use Affirmations / Meditations / Prayers. Bless it !!!!
Jack Canfield describes FEAR as 'Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real', and I've always remembered that. It is such a clear explanation of 'most' of my fears and once I really integrate and gain a deep and complete understanding and knowingness of this truth, I empower myself to give the majority of my fears their walking papers and deliberately direct my life.
Most frequent fears are either a fear of failing, a fear of being judged, or simply just a fear of the unknown. There is always to fear because there are no guarantees in life.
Fear compels me to make excuses, such as:
Most frequent fears are either a fear of failing, a fear of being judged, or simply just a fear of the unknown. There is always to fear because there are no guarantees in life.
Fear compels me to make excuses, such as:
- It won't work because . . .
- If I attempt and fail, the outcome could be worse than what it is.
- It’s too hard !
- I can’t . . .
- I don’t have . . .
- I don’t know how . . . And so on !
Fear is such a natural part of life, unfortunately many people seem to believe that there is something wrong when they feel it and they often respond by looking for the quickest way to 'get over it' or to 'shut it off'; as though it had a light switch.
While this is a natural fight or flight response, just like with many other challenges in life, working with our fears successfully doesn't generally work like that. Instead, it is a process that requires conscious attention and repetition.
The most constructive way to work with our fear is to come to an understanding that the goal is not to 'get over it', but that we find the best ways for us to conscientiously 'move through it' as it happens ! We allow it to exist and we do our constructive work, with the intention to minimize its negative impact and to create the best possible outcome.
As we repeat this process in full awareness, it turns into a step-by-step journey with milestones of successes along the way. In time, much of the fear holds very little or no power of us, and it tends to lessen with each repetition. Repetitions then become fewer, and eventually the fear only visits occasionally, for a very brief period of time.
While this is a natural fight or flight response, just like with many other challenges in life, working with our fears successfully doesn't generally work like that. Instead, it is a process that requires conscious attention and repetition.
The most constructive way to work with our fear is to come to an understanding that the goal is not to 'get over it', but that we find the best ways for us to conscientiously 'move through it' as it happens ! We allow it to exist and we do our constructive work, with the intention to minimize its negative impact and to create the best possible outcome.
As we repeat this process in full awareness, it turns into a step-by-step journey with milestones of successes along the way. In time, much of the fear holds very little or no power of us, and it tends to lessen with each repetition. Repetitions then become fewer, and eventually the fear only visits occasionally, for a very brief period of time.
Many people fall into what I call the 'Future Trap'.
We fall into this trap when we resist doing something out of fear of something, and we repeatedly make a choice now, that always requires follow through somewhere out in the future.
When done repeatedly, this turns into procrastination or
avoidance; which keeps us stuck and prevents success !
We fall into this trap when we resist doing something out of fear of something, and we repeatedly make a choice now, that always requires follow through somewhere out in the future.
When done repeatedly, this turns into procrastination or
avoidance; which keeps us stuck and prevents success !
There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear can be paralyzing if we allow it to run rampant on our default auto-pilot setting. It will happily run our lives and keep us from the joy and abundance that we are meant to experience.
Fear is a naturally occurring human emotion and no one escapes it while in human form.
Often our fears are a result of a memory of the past or a worst-case scenario vision of the future, but seldom is there any actual 'danger' right now.
From my observation, Fear is generally an automatically triggered instant reaction. Once triggered, for whatever reason, it is kept 'alive' and even 'amplified' by focusing our attention on it and on the stories told by our Mind Chatter. The more of our attention we give it, the stronger it gets.
Fear is a naturally occurring human emotion and no one escapes it while in human form.
Often our fears are a result of a memory of the past or a worst-case scenario vision of the future, but seldom is there any actual 'danger' right now.
From my observation, Fear is generally an automatically triggered instant reaction. Once triggered, for whatever reason, it is kept 'alive' and even 'amplified' by focusing our attention on it and on the stories told by our Mind Chatter. The more of our attention we give it, the stronger it gets.
If it were not for our minds continued focus on our emotion, and our Mind Chatter's embellishment of the worst-case scenario doom and gloom that 'might' follow; we would realize that our fear was triggered by a default reaction to something that cannot hurt us, and that there is therefore 'No Danger'. We would realize that it is safe to allow the feeling to just pass through us and shift our attention to something else; something that feels better.
In other words, we would simply choose to Pivot.
In other words, we would simply choose to Pivot.
This quote by Mark Twain explains the power of Fear when it is amplified by our Mind Chatter.
We allow ourselves to experience it as though it was real and true, but most often it is not. It is either a memory of the past or a worst case scenario projection of the future.
We allow ourselves to experience it as though it was real and true, but most often it is not. It is either a memory of the past or a worst case scenario projection of the future.
The Light Energy of Love and Dark Energy of Fear are constantly struggling for survival within the human consciousness, both on an Individual as well as on a Collective level . . . reflected back to us by what is happening in our lives and all around the world.
I don't try to figure out why it is what it is anymore.
I have realized that it is futile ! I just actively look for and find ways to do my best to accept 'what is' that I cannot change, while seeking to contribute to the Love Energy Field rather than the Fear Energy Field. I can do this by deliberately steering my vibration away from Fear in the direction of Love through the process of Pivoting.
I don't try to figure out why it is what it is anymore.
I have realized that it is futile ! I just actively look for and find ways to do my best to accept 'what is' that I cannot change, while seeking to contribute to the Love Energy Field rather than the Fear Energy Field. I can do this by deliberately steering my vibration away from Fear in the direction of Love through the process of Pivoting.
It is important to Remember that at any given moment:
Whether I look for FEAR or I look for LOVE: I Will See What I Look For !
This knowledge becomes my point of power, where I can make a choice to look for the good. I can allow the feeling of fear, stress, or anxiety pass through me and shift my attention to something positive . . . I can choose to Pivot. It is very likely that it will take repetition, but persistence creates success.
Whether I look for FEAR or I look for LOVE: I Will See What I Look For !
This knowledge becomes my point of power, where I can make a choice to look for the good. I can allow the feeling of fear, stress, or anxiety pass through me and shift my attention to something positive . . . I can choose to Pivot. It is very likely that it will take repetition, but persistence creates success.
Choose To Let Go Of The Fear !
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I often remember and still follow the advice of famous author Susan Jeffers book:
Feel The Fear . . . And Do It Anyway ! I read this book many years ago when I often felt paralyzed by Fear. It is a very insightful book written in simple and easy to understand language. If you are struggling with fear, I would highly recommend it. It is available in paperback, kindle and audio format. 
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