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Change Begins With Me ! Last updated: May 16, 2021
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Until my late 20’s it was my strong belief that others or the outside world would change and then I would ‘be happy’. It took me that long to figure out that others or the outside world will not change in order to make me happy; at least not willingly or consistently. Trying to ‘push’ them into changing was not working either. In time, I learned and embraced the essence of Rumi’s wisdom. I accepted that I cannot change others; they must want to change out of their own Free Will. However, I have Free Will also; and I can use it to willingly create change within Me that will then facilitate to create change in every area of my life.
If I want things to be different than what they are, Change MUST take place ! There are only 2 things that can change: Me or something outside of me.
I may or I may not have limited 'influence' over things or people outside of me, but despite of what my Mind Chatter may tell me; I do have a lot of control over 'Me' ! In fact, I often have a lot more control over me than what I believe I do. Therefore the quickest, most sensible and most fruitful way to create desirable change is to place my focus on changing what I can control first . . . ME !
We have a lot of control over what we think, what we learn, and how we respond to whatever is happening. I am Responsible for my Interpretation of and my Reaction to 'What Is', and only I have the Power to monitor and shift my perception and consequentially my responses . . . No One Else !
I may or I may not have limited 'influence' over things or people outside of me, but despite of what my Mind Chatter may tell me; I do have a lot of control over 'Me' ! In fact, I often have a lot more control over me than what I believe I do. Therefore the quickest, most sensible and most fruitful way to create desirable change is to place my focus on changing what I can control first . . . ME !
We have a lot of control over what we think, what we learn, and how we respond to whatever is happening. I am Responsible for my Interpretation of and my Reaction to 'What Is', and only I have the Power to monitor and shift my perception and consequentially my responses . . . No One Else !
As mentioned above, we often we have no control over our outside world or over other people, but we do have a lot of control over ourselves.
If we choose to wait for the outside world to change, we are likely to become very disillusioned and disappointed. The outside world and the people in it are often going to do what they are going to do. Although they may be able to be coerced, influenced, or motivated into change; the most meaningful change that results in the best and easiest solutions to my challenges are changes that start and progress from within me first, not from something or someone else outside of me !
If we choose to wait for the outside world to change, we are likely to become very disillusioned and disappointed. The outside world and the people in it are often going to do what they are going to do. Although they may be able to be coerced, influenced, or motivated into change; the most meaningful change that results in the best and easiest solutions to my challenges are changes that start and progress from within me first, not from something or someone else outside of me !
I used to be genuinely convinced that other people, situations and/or circumstances, were the main source of my unhappiness and my suffering. And while it is true that what's happening outside of me does have a big impact on me; I know now that it is often my interpretation of and my reaction to those people, situations and/or circumstances that become the biggest source of my suffering.
At the deepest level, whatever comes at me at any given moment is ‘what it is’. The biggest factor within my control, that has the ability to influence the direction of the outcome, is how I respond to it. My response is always determined by my perception and my communication skills.
When I find someone or something to blame, my internal suffering is always greater than when I am able to at least acknowledge that I am playing a role in the outcome. As this active participant, I then have a choice whether to direct it for the better now or at a future time when it comes around again. And it is most likely that it will come around again ! It may take a different shape or form with different people or circumstances, but the fundamental challenge will be the same. We either choose to move through it and do our best to intentionally improve the outcome, or we avoid it and it will repeat itself until we do. That is our task !
At the deepest level, whatever comes at me at any given moment is ‘what it is’. The biggest factor within my control, that has the ability to influence the direction of the outcome, is how I respond to it. My response is always determined by my perception and my communication skills.
When I find someone or something to blame, my internal suffering is always greater than when I am able to at least acknowledge that I am playing a role in the outcome. As this active participant, I then have a choice whether to direct it for the better now or at a future time when it comes around again. And it is most likely that it will come around again ! It may take a different shape or form with different people or circumstances, but the fundamental challenge will be the same. We either choose to move through it and do our best to intentionally improve the outcome, or we avoid it and it will repeat itself until we do. That is our task !
Change will happen, it is a natural part of life; whether it is change that we want or it is change that we don't want.
I can either learn to embrace it, learn from it, and do my best to try to move it in a beneficial direction; or I can resist it, fight it and allow it to make me resentful, unhappy, and more stressed than it would otherwise be. The Choice is Mine ! Always.
I can either learn to embrace it, learn from it, and do my best to try to move it in a beneficial direction; or I can resist it, fight it and allow it to make me resentful, unhappy, and more stressed than it would otherwise be. The Choice is Mine ! Always.
It is quite vital to understand and integrate that Change is not only a natural part of life, but with any change there is Always a Choice that is Mine to make !
While it is true that Change is often thrust upon us from outside forces that are not within our circle of influence or control . . . we always have a choice of how we react or respond to it.
Furthermore, it is up to us to Choose to Change ourselves when our reaction or response to change that is thrust upon us doesn’t turn out as well as it could have, had we responded differently.
We Always have a Choice ! Whether we choose to 'embrace' the change by being willing, open, and available to it and as a result choose to do our best to facilitate it . . . . or whether we choose to
resist and fight it. We are making this choice many times over every day, whether we are aware of it and make it deliberately and conscientiously; or we Allow our Default Conditioning to make it for us !
Either way, it is vital for us to recognize that it is our Choice; and as we do so we learn to take responsibility for the actual power that we hold. When we do not recognize or believe in having choice, we give away our power and become the victim of other people, situations, and/or circumstances.
Once we do become keenly aware of the Choices that we are making, we become truly Empowered! It is through this process that we are breaking the Victim Loop Cycle; by not only taking Responsibility for the Choices that we are making, but also by learning to make better choices; even when they are choices we don't like or would rather not make.
While it is true that Change is often thrust upon us from outside forces that are not within our circle of influence or control . . . we always have a choice of how we react or respond to it.
Furthermore, it is up to us to Choose to Change ourselves when our reaction or response to change that is thrust upon us doesn’t turn out as well as it could have, had we responded differently.
We Always have a Choice ! Whether we choose to 'embrace' the change by being willing, open, and available to it and as a result choose to do our best to facilitate it . . . . or whether we choose to
resist and fight it. We are making this choice many times over every day, whether we are aware of it and make it deliberately and conscientiously; or we Allow our Default Conditioning to make it for us !
Either way, it is vital for us to recognize that it is our Choice; and as we do so we learn to take responsibility for the actual power that we hold. When we do not recognize or believe in having choice, we give away our power and become the victim of other people, situations, and/or circumstances.
Once we do become keenly aware of the Choices that we are making, we become truly Empowered! It is through this process that we are breaking the Victim Loop Cycle; by not only taking Responsibility for the Choices that we are making, but also by learning to make better choices; even when they are choices we don't like or would rather not make.
Perception is the Key !
My Perception is my Interpretation of ‘what is’ by means of my past experiences, thoughts, feelings, and knowledge. It is always my Perception that determines my Response to ‘what is’. Subsequently, my Response determines and/or influences the Outcome.
If I don’t like the outcome . . . my point of power is to change my response which requires that I learn to examine and shift my Perception into a direction that helps me get closer to the results I would like to see. While it is true that our current Perceptions are often formed due to influences outside of us, it becomes our responsibility to become aware of the Perceptions that we are forming and holding; and change the once that are hindering us or causing us to feel stress.
We either intentionally guide the formation of our Perceptions to move us in the direction we want our lives to go . . . or we allow the outside world to form them for us by Default. It is our CHOICE ! Only we can do this work ! We are the only one who can Intentionally Shift our Perception in this way . . . no one can do it for us.
My Perception is my Interpretation of ‘what is’ by means of my past experiences, thoughts, feelings, and knowledge. It is always my Perception that determines my Response to ‘what is’. Subsequently, my Response determines and/or influences the Outcome.
If I don’t like the outcome . . . my point of power is to change my response which requires that I learn to examine and shift my Perception into a direction that helps me get closer to the results I would like to see. While it is true that our current Perceptions are often formed due to influences outside of us, it becomes our responsibility to become aware of the Perceptions that we are forming and holding; and change the once that are hindering us or causing us to feel stress.
We either intentionally guide the formation of our Perceptions to move us in the direction we want our lives to go . . . or we allow the outside world to form them for us by Default. It is our CHOICE ! Only we can do this work ! We are the only one who can Intentionally Shift our Perception in this way . . . no one can do it for us.
All Change Happens 'One Step at a Time' !
When I was in my late 20's and I realized that ‘real’ change needed to happen in my life and that I am the one in charge of making it happen . . . I didn’t know what that would look like, what I needed to do, or how I would make it happen. I just knew that after numerous years; once again, the romantic relationship I found myself in was not working for either of us. Up to that point, I was convinced that he was the source of why it wasn't working . . . and that ‘I could change him’ ! I thought that ‘I was important enough to him that he would 'change for me'. . . to make me happy’. In time I realized that this would never happen. I finally got it ! It was not him who needed to change, but instead I needed to allow him to be who he was and I needed to change me and the choices that I made; so that I could be happy ! And so, my journey of my Inner Work began.
A lot of change that we seek to create in our lives happens only through a process. It is often not as much that 'we get it done', but that 'we move through it' ! It is generally more like a step-by-step journey with milestones along the way rather than an instant flip of a light switch and it’s done.
Everything starts with one step. Still up to this day, I make one little change at a time . . . often retracing and repeating, as I do my 'Inner' Vibrational work followed by my 'Outer' Right Action work.
This is how transformation of self-defeating, unwanted, stress-inducing energy patterns happens.
I intentionally do my best to progress 'One Step' at a time.
When I was in my late 20's and I realized that ‘real’ change needed to happen in my life and that I am the one in charge of making it happen . . . I didn’t know what that would look like, what I needed to do, or how I would make it happen. I just knew that after numerous years; once again, the romantic relationship I found myself in was not working for either of us. Up to that point, I was convinced that he was the source of why it wasn't working . . . and that ‘I could change him’ ! I thought that ‘I was important enough to him that he would 'change for me'. . . to make me happy’. In time I realized that this would never happen. I finally got it ! It was not him who needed to change, but instead I needed to allow him to be who he was and I needed to change me and the choices that I made; so that I could be happy ! And so, my journey of my Inner Work began.
A lot of change that we seek to create in our lives happens only through a process. It is often not as much that 'we get it done', but that 'we move through it' ! It is generally more like a step-by-step journey with milestones along the way rather than an instant flip of a light switch and it’s done.
Everything starts with one step. Still up to this day, I make one little change at a time . . . often retracing and repeating, as I do my 'Inner' Vibrational work followed by my 'Outer' Right Action work.
This is how transformation of self-defeating, unwanted, stress-inducing energy patterns happens.
I intentionally do my best to progress 'One Step' at a time.
The best way to get a different result is to:
- Stop my expectation that others or the outside world will change in order for me to be happy.
- Instead, I learn to change my perception and/or my reaction/response that has not been working to something else that might work better.
When change is thrust upon me and I don’t learn or progress from it, I will continue to receive prompts until I do.
But, there is really no hurry ! If I don't want to change it's ok. I will have eternal chances to learn my lessons going forward and in other lifetimes to come.
For me it is a question of 'How long do I want to resist
and stay stuck in this cycle'?
But, there is really no hurry ! If I don't want to change it's ok. I will have eternal chances to learn my lessons going forward and in other lifetimes to come.
For me it is a question of 'How long do I want to resist
and stay stuck in this cycle'?
When I am prompted by the Universe and I STOP resisting the change that needs to happen, when I make changes more willingly; then I am on an easier path of learning, growing and expanding from it !
Consequentially, my life becomes easier than it otherwise would be and I am living a better and more joyful life because of it !
Consequentially, my life becomes easier than it otherwise would be and I am living a better and more joyful life because of it !
Change can be difficult; but it is often inevitable, to our benefit, or even necessary. If there is something in my life, that I don’t like or I would like it to be different, it is up to me to change it to the best of my ability. First and foremost it must start by changing my perception, which means I must start by changing Me !
I must examine the way I think about it, I must shift my perceptions that I hold about it, and I must recognize the limiting beliefs that rule my unhealthy actions. Once I do that, then I can look for and seek a path that will get a different and better outcome than what I've been getting !
I must examine the way I think about it, I must shift my perceptions that I hold about it, and I must recognize the limiting beliefs that rule my unhealthy actions. Once I do that, then I can look for and seek a path that will get a different and better outcome than what I've been getting !
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If meaningful change was easy, everybody would already be doing it ! Unfortunately, meaningful change involves taking risks. It means taking risks that things may not work out the first time, or the second, or even the third time ! Risks that other people will get in the way or may not cooperate.
We can choose to take the risks and learn persistence or we can choose not to try; and never know whether or not it would have worked. |
I have noticed that the biggest and strongest Block to my willingness to Change is my Minds 'Belief' that
1) ‘I know’ more than I really know and . . .
2) I know that ‘I am right’.
I have since learned that
1) I know relatively little . . . and that
2) My Mind Chatter is constantly determined to convince
me that 'I do know' and ‘I am right’ !
1) ‘I know’ more than I really know and . . .
2) I know that ‘I am right’.
I have since learned that
1) I know relatively little . . . and that
2) My Mind Chatter is constantly determined to convince
me that 'I do know' and ‘I am right’ !
Expectation is a Focus that Permits the Receiving of what you are Predominantly Focused Upon - Both Wanted and Unwanted.
Expect wanted things to happen; create a vision and a focus of positive expectations and outcomes and they are more likely to materialize.
Observe your dominant thoughts and focus, for they will often be a clue of what you are experiencing in your inner world and in your life. Thoughts and focus can be intentionally redirected and guided. We can choose to change our thoughts and focus.
Expect wanted things to happen; create a vision and a focus of positive expectations and outcomes and they are more likely to materialize.
Observe your dominant thoughts and focus, for they will often be a clue of what you are experiencing in your inner world and in your life. Thoughts and focus can be intentionally redirected and guided. We can choose to change our thoughts and focus.
The most frequent reason we resist Change is because we are afraid !
We often 'Fear' that we will fail; or we fear the unknown.
But, the truth is that a lot our fears are just
'Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real';
orchestrated and amplified by our Mind Chatter !
Many people fall into the unfortunate trap of repeatedly
making choices now, that are always requiring follow
through somewhere out in the future.
When done repeatedly, it turns into procrastination or
avoidance; which prevents positive change from taking place !
One way we often avoid change is by making excuses.
Beware of the difference between using a ‘Valid Reason’ and an ‘Excuse’, when repeatedly putting off a ‘difficult’ task that you know
must be completed.
Common excuses may be:
- It won't work because . . .
- If I attempt and fail, the outcome could be worse than what it is.
- It’s too hard !
- I can’t . . .
- I don’t have . . .
- I don’t know how . . . And so on !
Often, when we want to create change, we become stuck on figuring out what to do or how to do it. To help myself, I usually ask myself and/or contemplate these or variations of these 4 questions.
They also promote peaceful contemplation, which always opens the door to allow for inspiration and assistance from the Divine; and they help steer me away from my Mind Chatter, which is only interested in being 'Right', not what is in the Best Interest of my Highest Good.
- Asking questions assigns a job to our mind and the mind actually loves to go on a treasure hunt for the answers, if we allow it and support it in its quest.
They also promote peaceful contemplation, which always opens the door to allow for inspiration and assistance from the Divine; and they help steer me away from my Mind Chatter, which is only interested in being 'Right', not what is in the Best Interest of my Highest Good.
When we initiate and seek change with the purpose of moving ourselves out of negative energy patterns; we naturally shift our perceptions, opinions, and responses compared to where they have been.
When this happens, the people around us may not like it; especially if they themselves are a participant or a creator of the stressful energy pattern that we are trying to free ourselves from.
They may not want us to change, because when we do, it impacts them. They must either change with us or we are likely to end up in conflict with them or within ourselves.
This fact makes change even more challenging for us ! However, if we are committed to changing, we can learn to expect this and we can prepare ourselves as much as is possible for this ! We can strive to learn new and different ways to react and respond to these people, and there will be times when we must and we will realize that the best choice for us is to distance ourselves from them . . . for our Highest Good as well as for theirs.
When this happens, the people around us may not like it; especially if they themselves are a participant or a creator of the stressful energy pattern that we are trying to free ourselves from.
They may not want us to change, because when we do, it impacts them. They must either change with us or we are likely to end up in conflict with them or within ourselves.
This fact makes change even more challenging for us ! However, if we are committed to changing, we can learn to expect this and we can prepare ourselves as much as is possible for this ! We can strive to learn new and different ways to react and respond to these people, and there will be times when we must and we will realize that the best choice for us is to distance ourselves from them . . . for our Highest Good as well as for theirs.
Any Change that I can make, I can only make in this Moment . . . it can only take place 'Here' and 'NOW' !
This was not an easy awareness and understanding for me to arrive at, but it made a significant difference in recognizing that, in any given moment my power of change can only happen in this moment.
Sure, I can think about something about the past, but I cannot change it . . . for it is now gone and it has become the past ! I can also think about doing something or I can plan to do something sometime in the future . . . but I can't actually do what I'm thinking about until the time comes and I decide to actually do it. Whenever that time is, whenever I actually Implement this Choice . . . it will ALWAYS be NOW ! This is so because my physical body as well as my mind can only do anything NOW . . . everything else is just a thought I am having about something . . . right Now ! Thus, the Past will always stay the Past - it cannot be changed. The Future will always be the Future – for it has not happened yet . . . Once it happens it is the 'NOW' !
When we truly understand this, then we know that 'The only real Power I ever have to Implement Change is NOW' . . . and it will never ever be at any other time. I must choose to do it . . . NOW !
I can learn to be consciously aware of my thoughts, feelings, beliefs/perceptions, and behaviors that are preventing me from making the change I seek - in this moment – Now.
I can learn to re-direct my mind, my actions, and my behavior Now . . . as they happen.
It is within my power . . . and No One else's.
When I 'Change Me', I Change the World !
It took me a while to really understand and integrate the fact that on some level . . . however minor we may believe it to be . . . each and every one of us has an effect on and contributes to the Collective Direction of Humanity and beyond. The specific direction we contribute to is determined by our Vibration. Generally, our Vibration either helps raise the Consciousness of Humanity or it contributes to lowering it . . . although adding to a state of Neutrality is also possible.
We can choose to become consciously aware of the Vibration we carry and emit, especially when we are under Stress. When we start to notice that our Vibration is undesirable; we can learn to deliberately Shift our Vibration in a positive or desirable direction.
Whenever I make a Change, no matter how small the change, the Vibration that I carry and emit also changes . . . and this change in my Vibration reverberates throughout each and every part of my life and then into the world around me and far beyond.
Change is always good and it always benefits us and Humanity as a whole, when the change results in a Higher Vibration. If my Change results in a Lower Vibration it would be in my best interest and to the benefit of Humanity as a whole to examine and adjust my Change.
It took me a while to really understand and integrate the fact that on some level . . . however minor we may believe it to be . . . each and every one of us has an effect on and contributes to the Collective Direction of Humanity and beyond. The specific direction we contribute to is determined by our Vibration. Generally, our Vibration either helps raise the Consciousness of Humanity or it contributes to lowering it . . . although adding to a state of Neutrality is also possible.
We can choose to become consciously aware of the Vibration we carry and emit, especially when we are under Stress. When we start to notice that our Vibration is undesirable; we can learn to deliberately Shift our Vibration in a positive or desirable direction.
Whenever I make a Change, no matter how small the change, the Vibration that I carry and emit also changes . . . and this change in my Vibration reverberates throughout each and every part of my life and then into the world around me and far beyond.
Change is always good and it always benefits us and Humanity as a whole, when the change results in a Higher Vibration. If my Change results in a Lower Vibration it would be in my best interest and to the benefit of Humanity as a whole to examine and adjust my Change.
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